Sunday 12 September 2010

Thers's an App for that!



Apull has just released a new iPhone app that will tell its user if and when they should kill themselves.
Using patented technology, the app runs an algorithm that incorporates an array of biometric, financial and personal data derived from the user to determine when, why and how they should kill themselves.

"I think this could be a revolutionary new product. By taking the guesswork out of whether someone should commit suicide, thousands of valuable lives may be saved, while thousands more who really should do it might actually rid the world of themselves," remarked Apull spokesman Bertie McSpadden.

According to McSpadden, the app is capable of detecting physical, mental and emotional wellbeing, monitors its user's financial status in real time, analyzes the content of their outgoing text messages, and evaluates their photo and music files to determine the tenability of their continued existence.

"Simply being inarticulate, unattractive, or poor is unlikely to issue a suicide prompt, regardless of how uneducated, repulsive or insolvent you are," McSpadden explained, "Any combination of those three, depending on the degree, might however trigger the app."

Other factors that would contribute to a suicide prompt include prolonged attention paid to football news sites for an underperforming club, listening to Morrissey albums, taking photos of mundane household objects or unattractive family members and spending all damn day using your f@cking phone, said McSpadden.

The new suicide app also features satellite navigation designed to assist its user by providing directions to nearby bridges, tall buildings and railroad tracks.

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Of course the above is untrue and not something that has been suggested by either Apull or any other similarly named company, it is purely meant to illustrate how everyone loves a gadget on their phone and can become hopelessly addicted to using them, in a tongue in cheek way.

 I should also add that suicide is not an advisable course of action for anyone!

 I shouldn't have to make either comment as its common sense but thought it best to :-)

Friday 10 September 2010

It's a bit late



To wish anyone a happy Christmas (2009) or even a happy Easter (2010) thankfully that isn't what I meant, I mean its a bit late (at night) to be posting, not for those that are night owls, party goers, shift workers (been there done that) or insomniacs granted. But for one's that love their bed as much as me (mmmm bed) then it is.

I am sure I have mentioned in previous post/s how much I love my bed, I'm sure I have, have I, I don’t know, I'm too tired too tell, I would look and provide a convenient link, but its too late, beds are good though, blimey are they, I truly love mine :-)

Got the whole weekend off too, which is nice, more bed time :-)

So why am I posting so late, if I knew I would say, should be tucked up in bed really (mmmm bed) but I needed to be up till just after 11 anyway for a particular reason and I also needed to have the laptop on (for the same reason) so I thought why not write some nonsense, it will be a rarity I can assure you (late night posts, not nonsense, obviously), ooh its gone 11 I can go do what I had to, then I can get under my quilt and get cosy, WOO HOO :-)

(p.s. my bear looks nothing like that lol)

Sunday 5 September 2010

Why?



Lots of “whys” actually………….

I was going to comment on many aspects of that disturbing clip, but it would take too long, far too long :-(